‘Sometimes I want to kill myself so much that the air grows thick with the urgency of it all.’
In Spring 2008 Suzy Johnston, who suffers from bipolar disorder along with its psychotic symptoms, fell ill with viral hepatitis A. Immediately she had to come off all her psychiatric medications and experienced her worst ever episode of severe mental illness, resulting in her recovering in a psychiatric ward for seven months.
This is the actual diary she kept during those fraught and dangerous times. This is a raw, immediate and highly literate account of psychosis, written ‘in real time’. Suicidal impulses, paranoia, hallucinations and delusions are described in acerbic and uncompromising language.
The account is a must-read for both mental health practitioners and anyone wanting a first hand impression of mental illness. No other account captures so vividly the unrelenting pain and pressure of in-patient recovery.
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